FINALLY a complete update

Sorry guys...or whoever reads this. Haha whatever. Here is the complete update I've been promising for weeks.

Non-important stuff first:
I really love cigarettes and I hope I don't get addicted, but I feel so awk buying them so hopefully that will be my preventative measure XD. The only time I've ever bought a pack was with guywithgirlfriend and he's the one who actually bought them haha. But ugh cigs are so good, especially menthol ones with black coffee on an empty stomach. And when I'm drunk. And when I'm high. And when I'm stressed. And all the time XD.
I love weed so much, I'm all out though :'(. Same with cigs. But at least I have a dealer for weed so yay! I also really wanna try acid, shrooms, and adderall. And maybe MDMA too but idk. I know someone to access with all of them so yay drugs!
But I am getting so tired of alcohol ugh being hungover is da worst, I get such terrible hangovers.

Semi-important stuff:
Spring break has been crappy so far, I haven't gotten nearly as much homework done as I wanted. I'm distracted so easily ugh :'(. And my mom and I fight constantly so that's not really that awesome.
I did hang out with my best friend twice though. We went out to dinner one night and then yesterday we went into the city for a flower show. It was super fun and she's gonna design a tattoo for me that signifies our friendship :3.
I also hung out with summerboy and that whole group, which was SUPER fun and I really think that he and I are gonna become friends. Hopefully, since he's going to my college next year, we'll hang out and become close. He really is a cool guy. Also, he got SO hot since I last saw him omg hahahaha.

Important stuff:
A couple weekends ago I went to a friend's party. She goes to a school also in the city where my school is. I hadn't seen her in forever so that was really fun, and I brought my roommate too. I got super wasted which was great haha (not so much that morning while I was hungover as fuck...) and I made out with a cute and nice guy. Except now he's really into me and I don't feel the same -_-. I just considered it a drunken fun thing and ughhh I feel so bad because I've been ignoring his texts and he's really sweet. He invited me to a party and our mutual friend is going so I guess I'll go but I'm gonna play it cool and kinda give him the signal I'm not into him :/.
Also, C and I hang out because of our mutual friends and everything's cool between us. We don't hook up anymore or hang out alone but I'm okay with that. I'll miss being intimate with him like that though, it was so much fun and he was so sweet. Oh well, all's well that ends well and all that jazz I guess.

Very important!:
I was put into a small group for my Shakespeare class last Thursday and we have to make a 7-10 minute film adaptation of a scene from a Shakespearean play and I'm the only girl my group of five people! So that's awesome haha. And they seem like smart and not weird guys too, haha. AND two of the guys are film majors, with tons of equipment and film knowledge so we're totally guaranteed an A+.

Here's where the story gets interesting-
So one group member, who will be called H, showed us something he filmed based on Hamlet from last semester. I recognized my dorm and asked him if he lives there, he said yeah he lives on the first floor (I live on the 3rd). So at this point it was the end of class so as we're packing up to leave we start talking about the dorm and like stupid stuff that's taken place in our dorm and whatever, and before I know it we're having a legit conversation as we're leaving class and then the building/going back to the dorm. (I was also still a little high at this point [yes I went to class stoned as hell, oops] so I was in complete disbelief that a boy this attractive was walking and talking with me). He is tall and has dark shortish hair and omg he has like chiseled features and is so so good looking, this is the first time we've ever interacted before.

So anyways, we're talking about that short film he made and whatever and then he says he has to go get his bike so I'm like "alright bye!" like a total idiot and I walk away. Then I realize he probably meant he had to get his bike but we'd still talk, and as I was silently berating myself for being such a fool/simultaneously thinking he can't possibly be interested in talking to me, he rides up next to me on his bike and practically gives me a heart attack haha. I gave some weirdo lame excuse for walking away saying I was tired/out of it or whatever.
So we talk about our Shakespeare class, the professor, the books, and a class he had with the professor last semester. I asked him about it and he listed the books they read and included Watchmen, the graphic novel I've always wanted to read. So I told him that and he said he has it and that I can borrow it!! We talked about his hall in his dorm, my reading-Shakespeare-while-high theory and how I accidentally went to class too high. He asked me what I was doing later that night (in college the weekend really does start on Thursday hahaha) and in my head I was flipping out hahaha but I told him I had to study for a midterm (that I didn't even end up studying for -_-) and he was like pssshhhhhhhh that's lame and it was adorable and we talked about my bike getting stolen and when we went to his room so he could give me Watchmen to borrow (he said I can return it whenever) and he has movie posters on his wall. And we're facebook friends now and we have each other's numbers because of the group project.

And that's it. I can't believe someone as hot as H would willingly want to walk with me and talk with me all the way back to the dorm, it was all the way across campus. I mean, C was really hot and we hooked up several times so I don't know why I'm that disbelieving, but I still think really poorly of myself and I don't think I'm very good-looking at all. I feel like my innocence was a novelty for C and that's what really turned him on, was seeing my reaction to all of those new experiences, but C really did care about me somewhat and he is a nice guy.
Ugh, I hate that I can't believe it. H is very smart and talented and hot and very very different from C.

I'm trying to convince myself that H was just trying to be friendly and nice, since we're in the same group for this thing and we live in the same dorm. I'm tired of being hurt and crying and I hate that it's SO pathetically easy for me to fall for a guy. I'm already crazy about H and I hate it.

The end for now. I'm going to a concert tomorrow night so I might blog about that later next week when break's over and I go back to school.

xo